Bonga. (Bongo?)

Safaricom and Celtel are always fighting each other for market share. (Those are Kenya's two mobile phone networks - and some of the most profitable companies in the nation.)

I haven't figured out the latest campaign for Safaricom. And "Bonga"? Once again, my lack of Swahili skills lets me down.

Update: check the comments for some great explanations of what it means.

"You are very sticky"

I bought this passport cover for about $1.50 (100 Kenya shillings). Why? I dunno. I certainly don't have a Kenyan passport. But now my American passport can look like a Kenyan passport.

So, you're thinking, "Paul is crazy." Maybe true.

Anyhow, as I clenched the deal (starting at 200 shillings), the highway salesman ended our exchange by saying, "You are very sticky!" It was his way of saying, "You are a good bargainer." But if I had a different skin color, I could have been an even better bargainer.

There's always the feeling that I don't want to cut the sales-persons' profit too much - these guys have to make a living! So I attempt to not go too low.

Kenyan English

For those of you who have never lived outside of your native-English-speaking country, you may not be aware that there is a significant difference in the various "brands" of English.

Today I visited one of my favorite spots in Nairobi. As I was leaving, the staffer said, "Don't get so lost." In America, that phrase would result in the other party saying, "Huh?!"

What the other person meant was, "Don't wait so long before you return next time!"

And that is the very reason why I am in the line of work I'm in - assisting Bible translation. You can imagine that some critical concepts would not translate even within the different brands of English, to those who don't know both "languages."

Matatu meanings

This was on the back of another matatu (public mini-bus).

The words on them are so random. "Dallas" on top? Maybe the name of the company that put "Meticulus" on there. Maybe not.

More rubbish art

This is the eighth in my series of "rubbish art".

This one is gum and candy wrappers. All found by me along the edge of the road in Nairobi.

So why do I do these?

Well, as Heather observed, it's my way of redeeming what was thrown away. It's also my way of observing what people throw away. In this case, it's easy to see that people choose PK gum as their quick sugar buzz more than any other. Additionally, I'm commenting on people throwing stuff away at the side of the road rather than in a rubbish bin (UK/Kenya) or trash can (US). I wish they would throw stuff away in a bin! Finally, I'm commenting on manufacturing - there ought to be ways of making stuff that wouldn't involve a package that is discarded. In Japan, for example, candy is packaged in edible wrappers made of rice.

Close-up: my favorite wrapper.

Another artist who comments on how throw-away the USA culture acts: here.

Finally, if you tune back in around August, I'll be making a series of greeting cards that will be for sale. They will be blank inside - I can't imagine saying something like, "I hope you have a trashy birthday..."

Hunting in Tanzania

I have never been hunting. Not in Tanzania. Not in America. (Not in a box, not with a fox, not in a house, not with a mouse...) I'm not opposed to it, but it's just not my thing.

Anyhow, I saw this emblem on the hood (UK-bonnet) of a large bush-ready Land Cruiser the other day. It was so amazing I had to share it with you. It would have been interesting to meet the owners, though I didn't have that opportunity.

Hunting is illegal in Kenya. (Not in a box, not with a fox, not in a house, not with a mouse...) But apparently, if one is willing to pay enough, hunting is totally legal in Tanzania. If you have resident status (the Land Cruiser owners did), it is WAY cheaper - like 50 times less!

Let me introduce you to Simon

Simon appears on many public transportation vehicles in Nairobi. This time he was on the back window of a taxi parked at the posh Junction Shopping Centre.

I have always found Simon's image to be striking. I have no idea who the artist is. (Finding him or her would be a monumental undertaking. Unfortunately that person must get no royalties for the frequent use of their artwork.)

Simon represents the oppressed extremely poor street children in Nairobi. His image is meant to make you consider their plight. Or at least that's my theory.

This would not fly in the land of its origin

The Belgian government has sent a copy of An Inconvenient Truth to all of the 7th grade classes in the country and is asking for teachers to initiate projects around climate change/control...

And I must remind you that Mr. Gore's personal home uses 20 times more energy than the average US home uses. But I guess the good changes he might start in Belgium could make up for his personal sins. (Politician = televangelist?)

Swahili Baby?

This 45 (from here) caught my eye.

As I have mentioned before, it can't catch my ear, as my bandwidth, both at home and at the office, can't support music downloads. That's probably a good thing.

I wondered if Chuy even knew what Swahili is.

Terms of Endearmints

Some friends went down to South Africa recently. (That's the "Europe of Africa".) They very nicely brought back some gifts - including some Endearmints.

If you're ever in South Africa, pick some up - they are like Mentos only better!

Retail therapy

I bought a watch from a highway salesman recently. It's a Porsche Design. Fake.

It cost all of about $14. The case is not titanium. On the back it says "Rose Gold". Maybe not.

I was amused, as I asked the guy, "It runs on batteries, right?" Not. (I knew it wouldn't be battery-powered.) It's wind-up (or motion-activated) and needs to be reset to the right time every morning. In other words, the mechanism is so ineffieient that it runs down in the middle of the night, after a day of wearing.

I love the tire pattern - on the inside of the rubber band. Very cool.

(My other title for this post is: "Wasting money = coping mechanism".)

Sometimes I'm glad I'm out of the loop

As some of you know, my bandwidth is very limited here. Also, my server at work blocks all Flikr and Youtube.

Jason writes: "When one thing (i.e. Twitter) is easier than something else (i.e. blogging) and offers almost the same benefits, people will use it."

I'm out of the Twitter loop too.

I guess that's all good - I get more work done!

Rubbish art #3

Actually, this is my seventh in the series. I think it's only the third or fourth that I put in my blog.

This one features scratch-n-sniff phone cards. Most people in Kenya use pay-as-you-go phone cards with no contracts. The vast majority of people buy 100 shilling cards from Safaricom. Only about 10% of the cards discarded by the side of the road are from the competition, CelTel. Does this indicate that CelTel customers are less likely to litter or just that there are fewer CelTel customers? I think both are true.

One thing is true - CelTel customers are more likely to pick up discarded phone cards than Safaricom customers. (Yes, as in, I am a CelTel customer, and I am the only one in the country who has ever picked up that many spent phone cards!)

If you double-click on the image, you can see it a little bigger.

Mind-numbing inefficiency

Telkom is the (mostly) government-owned phone company. They have done so badly during the last few years that they are dying, financially. (The Kenyan government has kept them on life-support.)

We have an internet connection at the office that is represented in the pic. It's payable at the strange amount of 35,914 shillings a month. (That's about $500, for what would be piped into your home in the USA for about $60 or less.)

So where's the bureaucracy?

1. They won't accept checks without a 4-day clearance period, which would cause two trips to get the monthly required top-up card. This connection must be paid for in person each month - no automatic debiting of an account or credit card. (Aaaugh!)

2. Note the hand-written receipt: the lady had to write the amount four times, by hand! Then she had to write the card's serial number and rubber-stamp it by hand.

Featured here, featured there

This is a new site to me: Expat Interviews. There are some interesting interviews. Rob and Heather are both there. (Rob's is in the Germany section and Heather's is in the Kenya section.)

Check out the post on yours truly!

Barb inspired me

Barb wrote a post on the evils of MSG. I agree. However, I'm too much of a hedonist to give it up - yet.

We don't have aisles of Lays at our supermarkets, but I am thrilled to say that Lays are available. (They were imported from South Africa.) But I bet you can't get this flavor - at least in North America!

After I ate the pack, I read the fine print and discovered that there is no MSG! But my friend Amy told me that another ingredient, maltodextrin, is just another name for MSG. (Apparently MSG has lots of names, just like the devil.)

Update: a doctor friend, John, assured me that maltodextrin has absolutely no relationship to MSG.

Creativity by some anonymous computers

Remember back in the 80s? Punk band names were an amazing area of cultural creativity.

Spam email titles are today's equivalent. The difference this time through is that they are generated by a computer to carefully carve their way through spam filters. (This set all were caught, though.) I have no idea who actually opens those messages. Maybe I should have opened one to see if the contents were equally creative. Or not. Pandora might leap out.

These are actual spam titles:

My nose he prejudicial
And shelf of meteorite
It of riven
It sunbeam is commandeer
For do kaskaskia
To nonsensic as eclogue
A an estrange
In mitre it monetarist
I a burley
As nutria no grandstand
As do mervin
An at sandburg
A is precautionary
Be he respectful
I go mice
That of shack
At chancy it reel

No freezes = giant house plants

This is the biggest poinsettia I have ever seen. Note that it is a tree and not just a little potted plant that you might see at Christmas. It's not far from where my kids wait for the school bus each morning.

A different place

On our way to Kenya in May 2005, we stopped in England*. We lived there from 95-98, and that was our first time to return. It was great to re-connect with some of our friends there.

Ben connected with this contraption at a medieval village, not far from Cambridge.

Jay and I connected with a TVR and Lotus dealership near that village. (Both are low-volume British sports cars. TVRs are appealing to me, as they are nearly hand-made. They have quality-control issues that come with that too!)

*To get to Kenya from the USA, one must stop in Europe, at least for a layover between planes.

Politician, heal thyself

I read in Newsweek that Al Gore's home used 221,000 kilowatt-hours of electricity during 2006. That was 20 times what the average US home used.

By way of contrast, my family used about 4,000 kw-hrs. That's 55 times less than what Al used and about 3 times less than the average US home.

I don't say this to be self-righteous but rather to humbly ask Al to reconsider his personal ways. (Are you listening, Al?)